Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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