I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
