so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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