So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
