are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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