Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
