I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
