oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
