I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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