How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
