ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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