I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
