The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
