that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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