4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
