Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
