I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My breasts were aching with rage.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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