it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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