I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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