ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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