does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Shame is for Republicans.
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