Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
