Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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