you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
