Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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