Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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