i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
