My first STD was from a foam party
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
