I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
