I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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