hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
