I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You're like the curious george of whores
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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