So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Please don't give away my fajitas
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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