Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
