i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
