At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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