Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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