is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
