somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
