Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
