actually, I'm a sock model
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
