it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
