At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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