didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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