Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
