You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
