gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
