at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
