I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
