OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
