are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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